Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
