he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
