as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize