your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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