so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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