hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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