It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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