As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
