i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
