i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
