I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize