You really coming over, don't trick.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize