walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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