Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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