Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
