So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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