I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
