found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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