friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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