God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
