I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night