I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
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He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.