do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
