no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.