You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
