I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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