An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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