i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
