did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
