Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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