I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
