College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she pinky promised me she was 18
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Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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