just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
