You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
