You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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