She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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