omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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