so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
