It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
