Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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