Ambien. No doubt about it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
