Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
