didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
