I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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