i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize