we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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