I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
