Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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