I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
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Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
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Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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