do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
