My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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