I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize