T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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