I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
