You work out of a Hotel?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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