I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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