TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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