the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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