if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
A+ Viking dick
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
