ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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